We have all seen preschoolers with pacifiers firmly lodged in their mouths.

Often people are amazed that parents let their children use them for so long. But, if you are the parent of a child addicted to their binky, you will know the peace that comes from it’s use and the battles that occur when you suggest it needs to go! A lot of parents accept it’s use until the first birthday, with a vast majority trying to wean them off their pacifier by the second birthday.

First off, decide when the time is right. Encourage your child to give up the pacifier when he's reached an important "big boy" or "big girl" milestone eg a birthday, moving to a big bed. Ensure there are no major changes or stresses occurring in your child’s life. Decide if you’re going to go ‘cold-turkey’ or ‘slowly but surely’.

Here are some strategies that you can try:

• Try offering rewards eg a family outing or a new toy.
• Many parents try cutting a small hole in the pacifier. The child thinks it is ‘broken’ and often simply stop using it.
• Arrange a visit from the Binky Fairy. She comes and collects pacifiers (often from outside your front door overnight) and gives them to new babies who need them. In exchange she often leaves a little treat.
• Enlist your dentist’s assistance. Prior to their dental appointment, contact the dentist and ask them to talk to your child about pacifiers and teeth development. Often hearing the suggestion from an ‘authority’ can encourage children to give up the habit.
• You could try a slower method of weaning them off their pacifier. Set some rules for pacifier use, allow them to use it in the car, stroller and bedroom. Then only for naps and at bedtime. Make bedtime the last one to go. You may have some rough nights but stick to your decision and try and be as positive as possible with your child.
• Some parents use a product such as ‘Thum’ which helps children to stop sucking their thumb. Coat the pacifier with the bitter tasting liquid.
• If you’re trying the cold-turkey method, try doing it on a quiet weekend when nothing is planned. You may have a lot of tears and broken sleep, so be prepared for the worst – you may be pleasantly surprised!
• Keep your sense of humor. All children give up their pacifiers sooner or later. Good luck!

Parent Tips

Marnie writes: “My 3-year-old son used to LOVE his pacifier. He learned to speak with it in his mouth, walked around with a spare one in his hand and had others hidden in various places around the house. He is my youngest child and my other two children gave up their pacifiers when they were 2. One day we saw a Transformer toy being advertised on the television and he said he wanted it. I said I would buy it for him if he stopped using his pacifier TODAY! Ha, I thought there was no way he’d do it, BUT HE DID! He gathered them up from around the house and we ceremoniously put them out in the trash can. That night we had tears and he asked if he could get one from the trash but I cuddled him and told him Transformer stories and the trash can was never visited.. He was obviously ready.”

Melissa writes: “I actually let my daughter use her pacifier until she was 4. We restricted its use - but basically she loved it and it wasn’t a problem for me. She could only use it on her bed. It wasn’t allowed to be used anywhere else. When she started kindergarten she simply stopped using it because of the social pressures.”

The following ideas will hopefully make your next grocery store trip will be alittle easier.

• Avoid shopping if your young children are tired and hungry. In fact, try to avoid shopping if YOU are tired and hungry.
• If it is available and you like the idea use internet shopping, have your groceries delivered.
• Create a list and be organized so that you are not in the store any longer than you need to be.
• Give yourself enough time. Children feel stressed when they are rushed, and this is when the behavior starts to go downhill. I used to try to rush up and down the aisle with my 1-year old trying to break the shopping world record. One day I asked myself, "What are you doing?" CHILL! I decided to slow down. If that meant letting her having a 'turn' at pushing the cart, or stopping to look at the doggies and kitties on the packets in the pet food isle, then that is what we did.  We were both less stressed and happier at the end.
• Let them play -okay- I can hear you thinking, "What is she talking about?" What I mean is that children are more likely to be cooperative if what they are doing is fun. I remember spending one whole shopping trip with my two-year old daughter and her friend crawling behind the cart as cats. As long as I stayed in character ("Here kitties."), they would do what ever I wanted.
• Shopping is filled with great learning opportunities. Try these phrases out: "Could you get the yellow packet, please?" or "See the one that starts with 'B'?" or "We need the square box."
• Tell your child ahead of time what type of behavior you expect.  Children cannot read your mind. Spell it out for them. Will you be buying them a snack or taking one? Let them know before hand. Do you want your children to take turns at putting items in the cart?  Let them know.
• Involve your child in shopping by helping to look for certain items, placing items in the cart, and crossing off items from the list. Children love to help. This tip can also help the fussy eater. If a child has helped to choose a food, then she is more likely to eat it.
• Take snacks and drinks to avoid the inevitable hunger pangs at the sight of all that food. I always took snacks for my daughter when we went shopping because I never wanted her to get into the habit of expecting something every time we went to the store. I do now occasionally get her a treat, but she doesn't expect one every time.
• To keep your child safe, stay with them at all times. Keep them seated when in the cart.  If they are young enough, or keep standing in the seat, use the restraint.
• Visit the toilet or do a diaper change before you get in to the store. Now I know this does not always work. If your little one needs a change or to go to the toilet, then just leave the cart near a check out, and tell a staff member you will be back. Don't get angry - as frustrating as it is because, as the saying goes - when you've got to go, you've got to go. I could not begin to tell you the amount of times this has happened to me.
• Remember to praise your child for good behavior. For example "I really liked the way you are staying close to the cart today".

Preschoolers generally pretty content to go on adventures in the car.

The nice thing about traveling in the car with a preschooler, is that there are quite a lot of fun activities to do with them. Drawing is fun, and so are simple toys such as an etch -a -sketch. My children love to listen to books on CD as they travel in the car. Find out what your child enjoys and stock up so that your next car trip is a pleasant one. Here are some tips to follow to make sure that your preschooler is safe during car trips. A preschooler can travel in a:

Combination forward facing/booster seat

• The combination forward-facing/booster seats offer several options. Firstly, the forward-facing option is for children who weigh 40 -65 pounds (some models can differ) and it is to be used with a harness. Secondly, it can be used as a booster seat without the harness for children who weigh up to 80 pounds or more (some models can differ).
• If using the booster seat for your child, make sure the lap belt is across your child's thighs in a low position and that the shoulder belt is across the center of your child's shoulder and chest. (remember the booster is designed for older children so make sure you are using to the correct height and weight requirements)

Convertible seat

• The Convertible design simply means it can be changed from rear-facing to the forward- facing position. When doing this always follow the manual so that the harness is correctly in place and the seat is securely in place.
• Choose one with a five-point harness system. This system has straps for the thighs, two over the shoulder straps, and a crotch strap.

Forward-facing seat

• The forward-facing model is designed for children who weigh between 40 to 80 pounds. Always check your manual as some models can differ.
• Children around this age need to remain in the forward-facing seat whilst still using the harness until they no longer fit it. This is usually around the age of 4 and when they ALSO weigh 40 pounds.
• If you allow your preschooler to buckle themselves in, you need to check and make sure that they are properly strapped in at all times before the car is moving.
• All children 13 years and younger need to be in the back seat of a car.

Hints for a successful installation

• Always read the owners manual and the accompanying instructions BEFORE installing. Make sure you follow all the steps.
• Allow at least 30 minutes to correctly install a car seat. Grab a friend to help out!
• After installing the car seat check that it's securely in place by pushing it hard. It shouldn't move more than 1 inch in any direction. If it does you'll need to re-adjust and check it again.
• It's a good idea to check the seat whenever your child is using it. It only takes a few seconds and considering it's your child's safety at risk, it's time well spent.

 

These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.