Just as birth and new beginnings are a part of life, so too is death and the loss associated with it. Talking honestly and openly to young children about death can go a long way in helping them to understand it and to develop positive coping strategies.

Following are some ideas on how to approach this delicate area:

• Death is a hard concept for young children to understand. It needs to be explained in a very simple concrete way. For example, when someone dies you can tell your child that they are no longer breathing and their heart is no longer working. Let your child know that they can no longer walk, talk, eat or sleep. Children experience life in the here and now, therefore by explaining that the person's body is no longer alive and can't do the things such as walk, talk and eat makes it a little easier to grasp.
• Often children will ask for this information over and over again particularly if it was someone close to them. Young children struggle with the idea that death is permanent and not reversible. Children have very vivid imaginations so if they imagine the person is still alive then they begin to question the permanency of death. Always answer questions calmly and simply.
• If a family pet dies (which is always so sad) this can also be a time of learning. Allow your child to calmly observe the stillness of the pet's body. Point out that there is no longer any movement or breathing. Explain to your child that the pet's body is no longer alive. Include your child in any rituals or belief systems you may have about death. This can provide a framework for understanding what death is and how to cope with it.
• Talk to your child about your belief systems (if you have any) surrounding death and remember to keep your explanations simple. Answer any questions your child may have or ask your child if they have any questions.
• After explaining about death to your child you should ask them to explain it back to you. Its remarkable what can be uncovered when you do this! They may come out with something completely different than from what you have just said. Oftentimes these differences are made up of misconceptions that your child has about what death is. So it is necessary to gently correct any misconceptions. You may have to go through this explaining and repeating it back process several times. Not all at once....this may occur over several days or even weeks. Just have patience and gently go over the same explanation each time and try not to alter your explanation as this can cause further confusion.
• Find some children's books which explain the concept of death and read them together and answer any questions which they may provoke.
• If it was someone close to them that died it can be helpful to put together a special book about this person. Use photographs and encourage your child to draw some pictures or tell you what to write about them. You could ask your child what was their loved ones favorite things to do and include these in the book.
• Encourage your child to express any feelings that they may have and let them know its okay to feel sad or angry etc.

Three common misconceptions young children can have about death:

1. Death is not permanent.
2. Death is reversible.
3. Magical thinking (imagination) for example, " I was angry with Auntie Dot and wished that she would go away and that's why she died.'

Four concepts which help children understand death:

1. Universal - the concept that all living things eventually die.
2. Irreversibility - in this children struggle with the idea that once the physical body of a living thing is dead, it can never be alive again.
3. Causality - in this concept young children are challenged with understanding what it is that really does or can bring about the death of a living thing. This is where young children's vivid imaginations come into play.
4. Non-functionality - this refers to the end of all bodily functions such as breathing, eating, walking and playing.