The following ideas will hopefully make your next grocery store trip will be alittle easier.

• Avoid shopping if your young children are tired and hungry. In fact, try to avoid shopping if YOU are tired and hungry.
• If it is available and you like the idea use internet shopping, have your groceries delivered.
• Create a list and be organized so that you are not in the store any longer than you need to be.
• Give yourself enough time. Children feel stressed when they are rushed, and this is when the behavior starts to go downhill. I used to try to rush up and down the aisle with my 1-year old trying to break the shopping world record. One day I asked myself, "What are you doing?" CHILL! I decided to slow down. If that meant letting her having a 'turn' at pushing the cart, or stopping to look at the doggies and kitties on the packets in the pet food isle, then that is what we did.  We were both less stressed and happier at the end.
• Let them play -okay- I can hear you thinking, "What is she talking about?" What I mean is that children are more likely to be cooperative if what they are doing is fun. I remember spending one whole shopping trip with my two-year old daughter and her friend crawling behind the cart as cats. As long as I stayed in character ("Here kitties."), they would do what ever I wanted.
• Shopping is filled with great learning opportunities. Try these phrases out: "Could you get the yellow packet, please?" or "See the one that starts with 'B'?" or "We need the square box."
• Tell your child ahead of time what type of behavior you expect.  Children cannot read your mind. Spell it out for them. Will you be buying them a snack or taking one? Let them know before hand. Do you want your children to take turns at putting items in the cart?  Let them know.
• Involve your child in shopping by helping to look for certain items, placing items in the cart, and crossing off items from the list. Children love to help. This tip can also help the fussy eater. If a child has helped to choose a food, then she is more likely to eat it.
• Take snacks and drinks to avoid the inevitable hunger pangs at the sight of all that food. I always took snacks for my daughter when we went shopping because I never wanted her to get into the habit of expecting something every time we went to the store. I do now occasionally get her a treat, but she doesn't expect one every time.
• To keep your child safe, stay with them at all times. Keep them seated when in the cart.  If they are young enough, or keep standing in the seat, use the restraint.
• Visit the toilet or do a diaper change before you get in to the store. Now I know this does not always work. If your little one needs a change or to go to the toilet, then just leave the cart near a check out, and tell a staff member you will be back. Don't get angry - as frustrating as it is because, as the saying goes - when you've got to go, you've got to go. I could not begin to tell you the amount of times this has happened to me.
• Remember to praise your child for good behavior. For example "I really liked the way you are staying close to the cart today".

For many families, separation and divorce is an emotionally, devastating time, where parents find themselves acting in ways that are not rational or cooperative.

Pick Up and Drop off Times

One of the most emotionally stressful times for a child is when a parent arrives to pick up or to drop off a child. Children are aware of the tension between the parents: they have experienced the shock and sadness too and may feel insecure about further conflict and tension.

To help support children, you can give them advance notice of any changes, show up on time and as planned. This gives children a sense of security - they can know and trust what will happen next. Keep to the arrangements as children can easily feel rejected and confused by unexplained failure to arrive or be dropped off at the expected time.

Practical tips for visits

• Visits are not times for parents to check up on each other or attempt to negotiate contentious issues. Children need to be able to go between both households without being questioned about what is happening in the other. Children will naturally want to talk about the other parent – but should not be ‘pumped’ for information. This distresses a child.
• Children need access to both parents therefore helping contact visits remain positive and stress free assists in relieving further grief to the child.
• It is better not to move children between households too close to their bedtime. Nor is it beneficial to the child to start out on an activity or outing the minute they arrive or return. Allow children to settle and adjust.
• Children may sometimes show distress in one form or other upon returning from seeing or staying with the other parent. The distress is usually real and a calm, empathic response will help children work out their own way of coping with their parent’s separation. Active listening allows the space for children to tell you in their own way what is going on, if they are aware of it and then to begin to work through it themselves.

Different Environments

Parents do not need to provide duplicate environments for their children concerning rules of behavior etc. On the other hand just as when both parents lived together it is important to reach broad agreement on matters of child rearing practices. It is not uncommon for there to be disagreements between parents about what is good or safe for children or other child rearing issues. Effectively finding ways to support children through working together will benefit their adjustment. Give each other time to settle before trying to negotiate changes.

Things to Avoid

Children are loyal and trusting of both parents, therefore as parents, we look to behave in ways that does not abuse their trust and not take advantage of children.

Messenger: Using children as messengers between the two parents teaches children that adults cannot talk honestly or directly to each other

Anger: Anger between parents has a destructive effect on children – and often covers deep hurt and grief.

I Spy: Asking child to report on the other parent is destructive; it is using a child for your own ends.

Disneyland Daddy, Mommy Santa: When visits are used just to give the child a good time, or outings and gifts take the place of normal parenting.

You can go if you like but we are going on a picnic: Do not set up competing activities, it spoils children’s pleasure in being with either parent.

Children have a right to:

• Be able to enjoy the love of both parents without excessive demands placed upon them.
• Feel proud of both parents and to be able to respect them
• See their parents behave towards each other with at least minimal courtesy, consideration and respect.
• Be listened to by both of their parents so that their needs are met

As parents, if we can have respect and hold all the people in our life dearly, then we can intuitively guide our children into developing confidently and able to meet many of life’s challenges.

If you have a preschooler, you need a set of blocks. It is really that simple.
Why are blocks a must? First, they are concrete.  Preschoolers aren’t ready to think in the abstract ways that worksheets require.  Plus, their developing writing skills (fine motor development) won’t allow them to think through writing as quickly as their minds work.  Blocks do.

Not only do blocks allow for concrete learning, they also tap into your preschooler’s need for repetition while learning.  Young children will stack and knock down blocks over and over again because of the sensory rewards—the sight of the blocks falling is breath-taking and the sound is awesome.  

Because many of us associate math with worksheets, we think that preschoolers aren’t ready for math lessons.  Maria Montessori, a pioneer in early childhood education, emphasized the importance of concrete forms in math education between the ages of three and five.  Math manipulatives facilitate the abstract thought needed later to compute numbers. She recommended that young children constantly move objects, like blocks and beads, and use their senses while learning because it leads to a later desire to write out a mathematical operation.  

Blocks are often available, but they are not always used for intentional math & play sessions.  Simply having blocks available for a preschooler to use does not take full advantage of the potential that blocks have to construct a math mind. To unlock the mathematical benefits of block play, your child needs social interaction with you.  

If you don’t have wooden blocks, you can make your own blocks out of lightweight cardboard boxes (tissue boxes, cereal boxes, oatmeal canisters).  For added weight, pack them with newspaper and tape them shut.  Whether you have wooden blocks or not, making some cardboard boxes together and talking about their size and shape and what you would like to build with them is a great way to introduce your intentional math & play sessions.

Here are some age-appropriate purposeful block play ideas:

• Lay out block pattern with three or four blocks (triangle, circle, triangle, square) and ask your preschooler to match or continue the pattern.  Recognizing and predicting patterns is an important logic and math skill
• Select eight to ten blocks and ask your child to “Make something really cool.”  You may find that your preschooler creates roads, a house with walls and floors, or the tallest possible tower.  No matter what, give lots of praise and ask open ended questions like, “What will people do in this room?” or “Why doesn’t your tower fall down?”  If you notice a clear preference for constructing one type of structure after playing this game several times, ask your preschooler to create a new type of structure.  You might say, “I love your towers, but could you make a town with roads this time?”  Building a variety of structures fosters different types of mathematical thinking.
• Name the different block shapes and point out similar shapes around the room.  For example, the rectangular window or circle rug.  By doing this, you introduce the concept of mathematical shapes as structures, much like what they have built during block play.
• Encourage your child to sort the blocks by size.  Use comparison words like big and small.  Later when your child is asked to find the bigger number, he will have a concrete reference for size.  Also reinforce the use of comparison words with concrete objects by asking your child to stack the small block on the big block and the big block on the small block.  Stacking blocks of different sizes (and letting them fall) fosters the spatial reasoning needed in geometry and offers hands-on problem solving skills.
• Get out a tape measure and note specific differences in the sizes of the blocks.  By using tape measure, you introduce units of measure and fine tune comparisons. (Leave lots of time for this activity because both of you will want to measure everything—including each other.)

Block play is a rich parent/child activity—filled with touch, sight, sound, repetition, and imagination.  The guided, tactile learning activities listed here are meant to help you lead your child into a curiosity for the world of mathematics.  That sense of curiosity—the desire to know—is the most prized school-readiness skill and so easy to build.

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“Careful! Don’t touch that stove! Hold my hand! Look out for cars! Knives are sharp! Climb down from there! Careful, careful, careful!”

Wow! What a load of care and concern greets a parent each second of every day. Like the proverbial dark forests of childhood fairy tales, danger lurks at every twist and turn and at each new encounter. What follows are common sense reminders about how to recognize and avoid some of the most common hazardous happenings that lie in wait for unsuspecting children. And those unexpected dangers cannot be overemphasized.

Accidents are still the leading cause of serious injury and death at all ages of childhood. The old adage, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” cannot thus be neglected. Often very simple but intentional efforts that are the ounces of prevention will lead to a lifetime of safety. So, in spite of the dismal dark woods filled with dangers ahead, sixty seconds of thoughtful prevention can bring the bright sunshine of safety to yet another step in the march to growing up.

Preschooler Safety

Keeping them safe and out of harm’s way can be quite a challenge. Young children are smarter than we give them credit for, and just as curious. When it comes to safety around the home, you can't be too careful. From the visible items such as poisons and sharp objects that can be locked up or relocated, to the "unseen" dangers such as dust mites or lead in paint, potential dangers lurk throughout the home. The following is a list of tips for making your home safe for your young child. Following these tips, with a good dose of vigilance and common sense, will go a long way in keeping children safe and happy.

• Check to see if your home’s smoke detectors are working
• Keep all medicines, cleaning products and other poisons locked away
• Look for and cover unprotected electrical outlets
• Check fire extinguishers are in a protected but accessible place  
• Keep knives, scissors, razors and other sharp tools out of reach or locked away
• Knick-knacks can be irresistible to preschoolers. To keep children - as well as your breakables - safe, place them high and be sure there is no furniture set up in such a way that a child can climb to reach an item
• Tie up or cut loose cords that hang from curtains or window blinds 
• Place slip-proof material under area rugs to prevent slipping or falling   
• Soak up spills on floors immediately 
• Dust breeds tiny mites that dwell on carpets and fabric. To keep dust mites away, wash bedclothes often and stuffed animals periodically
• Homes that are more than 15-20 years old may still contain lead-based paint. If you own such a home, find out how you can safely remove the paint, and then re-paint walls with lead-free paint.
• Bath safety - after you fill the bath – run a little cold water through the faucet to cool it off. Have an “adults only” rule for using the faucets. If possible turn the water heater thermostat down to no more than 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Always stay near the bath when filling to prevent scalding and drowning. Children should never be left alone in the bathroom for any reason, nor any length of time. Use a non-slip mat in the bath to prevent slipping and falls
• Washing machines and dryers can be tempting for a youngster who may think it a fun to place to hide. Always make sure the doors to each are closed tight and engage the lock if you have one
• Keep utility/garage areas child-safe. An unanchored ladder could very easily fall on a youngster. Paint or varnish are lethal if swallowed. Keep them locked away in high cupboards
• Young children love to watch their parents use power tools. Never leave them plugged in or lying on easy-to-reach surfaces. Store them in a locked drawer or cabinet after use

Accidents are the leading cause of death and injury for young children so remember to be on the look out for dangerous situations. In so doing you will be creating an environment where your children can freely explore and from which they can safely learn. Finally, watch your little ones at all times. There may be things you discover in your home that he or she is particularly attracted to. Be ever watchful, but, at the same time, enjoy your child and watch as he or she delights in new (and safe) discoveries.

Children vary at the age and speed in which they achieve bladder and bowel control.

This article aims to give you a variety of strategies that are both easy to read and practical. What do parents need to know about potty training? 

Despite a generally more relaxed approach today to toilet training, many parents still feel under pressure from family and friends. You find out from your grandmother that your aunt was fully potty trained at one… ONE!!!! That is crazy!! As parents we often remember things differently as the years go by; have a sense of humor when listening to others stories and advice. A sense of humor is compulsory when potty training!!

What are some signs that my child is ready?

Most parents try potty training anywhere from 18-months old through to three years of age. There is no standard "right" time for all children, you as the parent will need to gauge when the time is right. Toilet training is a special developmental challenge early in childhood. There is usually no hurry or benefit to early potty training. It is best to try and wait until the child is ready. Do not start potty training until both you and your child are ready. You are ready when you are able to commit the time and energy necessary to encourage your child on a daily basis to be happy and supported while toilet training. Summer is a great time to potty train as it allows your child the opportunity to wear minimal clothing and the pressure of "accidents" isn’t an issue when they are spending a lot of time outside.

Your child may show some of the following signs of readiness

• An interest in wearing underpants instead of diapers 
• They may signal that the diaper is wet or soiled or they may ask to use the potty
• The ability to stay dry for several hours at a stretch
• An interest in being clean and dry
• Show signs of independence like wanting to dress and feed oneself
• Able to understand simple instructions

Tips for making potty training easier

Remember that you are dealing with a toddler or preschooler who likes to believe that they are in control of the situation. It is better to allow your child to have some choices. Parents generally have better success when they are not forcing potty training.

The following are some tips for easing the stress of toilet training:

• Let your child be involved in choosing some of the potty training equipment e.g. new underwear, potty seat, potty, reward chart
• Decide if you are going to initially use a potty chair and then an over-the-toilet seat with a stool. Some parents choose to not use a potty, the choice is individual and you may need to be flexible
• Decide when your son is going to experiment with standing up to urinate (be warned, it can be messy!)
• Allow your child to see what toileting looks like, let them flush the toilet, talk about why big people use toilets
• Ensure that everyone who cares for your child is involved in the decision to commit to potty training e.g. daycare, sitters, family members, as a consistent approach is vital. Once you are confident that your support network is ready, make the decision, choose the day and stick with it!! It is important to continue with toilet training regardless of your child’s schedule e.g. birthday parties, visiting friends. It will require more time and energy on your part, but stopping and starting can send mixed messages to your child
• If you feel you have prematurely started toilet training and your child simply isn’t ready, then stop and try again later

Getting started

• Let your child experiment with sitting on the potty with pants/diapers on and off 
• Encourage your child to watch parents or siblings use the bathroom
• Never force a child to sit on the potty or toilet
• Assist your child in undressing and sitting on the potty or toilet
• Let your child sit for as long or as little as they want to
• Ensure you have LOTS OF underwear and loose, easy to remove pants. When leaving the house, be prepared for the worst!
• Begin by putting your child on the toilet or potty at regular intervals. Most children urinate within an hour after having a large drink
• Stay with your child when they are using the toilet or potty. Smile, read or talk as it may help them to relax
• When they successfully use the toilet/potty, praise them and celebrate!! You may use a reward chart, have a small party to celebrate, or phone a family member and tell them the great news!! Show your child you are so proud of his success!

It may take up to 3 months to toilet train your child. It is important for you to be patient and supportive throughout. Do not punish your child when he or she has an accident.  A lot of children are able to become dry during the day but take months or years to be consistently dry at night.

Expect accidents…

Potty training generally takes several weeks or more for the child who is ready. If it is taking longer, maybe your child isn't yet ready, and you should try again in a few weeks. Even for the child who is making progress, there will be plenty of accidents. Be prepared to accept them with patience and to appreciate that this is just part of normal potty training. Make sure you reward your child with praise and congratulations when he or she uses the potty, and be sympathetic when there are mistakes. Children who are punished for toileting mistakes may end up becoming more resistant to using the toilet altogether. Praise success, but do not criticize failure and GOOD LUCK!

Parent tips

Maria and Andrew: parents of three children aged 4, 6 and 8
‘I found potty training with my eldest daughter to be extremely easy. She was dry both day and night after three days. I was so proud of her (and myself!). Unfortunately my two sons have been a totally different experience. I did the same process with my boys; my middle son would urinate in the toilet/potty but wanted a diaper on to poop… so frustrating. The refusals continued for a year! My youngest took a while, we tried potty training at two, then stopped and waited and he finally had dry days at three and a half years.’ 

Lisa and Mark: parents of two sons aged 7 and 5
‘Toilet training was difficult with both our sons, they took a long time to get out of diapers, I made lots of excuses – waiting for summer, waiting until I had stopped breastfeeding my youngest. I think I was hoping it would happen on it’s own BUT IT DIDN’T!  My seven year old still wets the bed at night occasionally, we wake him and make him go to the toilet when we go to bed but he still has wet nights. We eventually had success with our youngest child when we bought him some dinosaur underwear…’ 

All children go through periods of fear. This is normal and expected. Here are a few ideas to help your child with her fears.

Young children can be fearful of all kinds of things. Common fears are storms, dogs, loud noises (vacuum cleaners, water going down the plug), clowns and insects. Here are some tips to help you and your child through this stage.

• Stay calm when your child is afraid. Your child will look to you for your reaction. Staying calm will reassure her and make her feel safe.
• Let your child know that it is okay to feel scared. Try saying "You don't like the thunder", or "That loud noise scared you didn't it?"
• Try not to go over the top with the attention you give to your child when she is scared. If we pay too much attention she may think that there really is something to be afraid of. Tell them about something you were afraid of when you were little and how you grew out of it.
• Although it is hard - try not to pass your own fears onto your child.
• Talk to your child about their fears. Sometimes they have misconceptions that can be cleared up. For example, when my little girl was 2 years old she was afraid of the noise the water made going out of the bath. She told us she thought a monster lived under the bath and was going to get her. We were able to discuss it with her, and even looked down the drain with a flashlight to establish there was nothing there.
• Try distracting your child with a toy or book. There are some excellent picture books that address common fears that you can read to your child.
• Play it out. Some children benefit from playing out the fear again and again. This lets her deal with her feelings in a safe way. If the fear is dogs - you and your child can take turns at being the dog and the child.
• If your child is particularly scared of something or someone give him some time to adapt before going ahead. Start small - if your child is afraid of the vacuum cleaner let him touch it when it is off, he may even feel safe enough to 'play' at vacuuming. Move on to doing the vacuuming when he is playing outside with another adult and then maybe watching through the window
• If you stay in sight you can help prevent fears. If your child can see you he will feel safer.
• Never make fun of your child's fear or get angry if her fear seems silly.
• Remember childhood fears are a normal part of growing up.

These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.

Here are some clear guidelines for teaching your child to follow instructions.

Following Instructions, Part Three

The first core skill is “Following Instructions.”  Teach your child the following three parts to following instructions:
1.    Look at the person.
2.    Acknowledge the instruction, say “OK.”
3.    Do it right away.

The following guidelines should help you get started:

• Be clear with your child about what you are doing.  You might say, “Cassie, I am going teach you about how to follow instructions.  I have three steps to remember, listen because I want you to say them back to me.”
• Once he or she can say them to you in order, start to practice.  Ask your child to look at you (asking for eye contact) and then ask her to do something simple.  Wait for her to respond with “OK,” and watch her go off to do it (right away).  
• If she forgets a step, prompt her with the right words and go on.  This can be fun.  Ask her to get your slippers and put one on your head.
• Later when a real-life situation arises that requires your child to follow instructions, before giving the instruction, ask your child if he remembers the steps of following instructions.  Review, if needed.
• Two things to keep in mind regarding eye contact.  In order to have eye contact when giving instructions, you need to be in the same room with your child.  (Obvious, I know.) The days of yelling from another room are over.  Also, you will need to think twice before giving instructions.  Be sure that you really need her to do the task before giving the instructions.  Too many instructions (unnecessary ones) can be counterproductive.
• Acknowledging with an “Okay” assures you that your child has heard you.
• Doing the task right away, avoids the child not obeying because they forgot the request.
• While you are instilling this core skill, you do not need to think about consequences.  The assumption is that your child needs ample practice recalling and doing the skill.  Simply having her recall the steps to you out loud is a sufficient consequence in the beginning.
• After lots of instruction, you may feel that your child is acting out of defiance.  At this point, you need to start collecting ideas from friends and professionals about logical consequences.  (Accepting those consequences is the fourth skill.)

These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.

Looking for an appropriate book for your child? Our experts have put together a selection of books any three-year-old will love.

One of the most important things you can do for your child is to read aloud to him or her on a regular basis. Not only does this build vocabulary skills, but it also creates a special closeness between you and your child.

Suggested books for three-year-olds:

(These titles are available in our online store).

Bread and Jam for Frances by Russell Hoban

Curious George by H.A. Rey

Franklin in the Dark by Paulette Bourgeois

The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper

Sheep in a Jeep by Nancy Shaw

Kitten's First Full Moon by Kevin Henkes

The Napping House by Don and Audrey Wood

Chicka, Chicka, Boom, Boom by Bill Martin Jr., John Archambault, and Lois Ehlert

Don't  Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willems

Richard Scarry’s What Do People Do All Day by Richard Scarry

Jamberry by Bruce Degen

Guess How Much I Love You? by Sam Mcbratney and Anita Jeram

There Was an Old Lady by Pam Adams


These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.