Looking for an appropriate book for your child? Our experts have put together a selection of books any four-year-old will love.

One of the most important things you can do for your child is to read aloud to him or her daily. Not only does this build vocabulary skills, but it also creates a special closeness between you and your child.

Suggested books for four-year-olds:

(These titles are available in our online store)

Are you my mother? by P.D. Eastman

Good Night, Gorilla by Peggy Rathman

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Day by Judith Voirst

Animals Should Definitely Not Wear Clothing by Judi Barrett and Ron Barrett

Rosie’s Walk by Pat Hutchins

Tikki Tikki Tembo by Arlene Mosel (Adaptor) and Blair Lent

Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson

Whoever You Are by Mem Fox

Quick as a Cricket by Audrey Wood

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

The Cat in the Hat by Dr Suess

The Grouchy Ladybug by Eric Carle


These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.

Do your children drive you crazy at bedtime? Does it feel like forever before they settle down and go to sleep?

About Routines

• Families function at their best when there are predictable routines in their day to day lives. For example, if bedtime routine always consists of bath time, putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, stories, then bed, - children will learn that “this is what happens in our family” and will be less likely to resist.
• Routines also help children to feel safe and to understand the behavior expected. Babies and young children are learning new things everyday. It is comforting for them to have times in their day when they know what is going to happen.
• Routines also make life easier for you  - if everyone knows what to do there will be less nagging and reminding and hopefully less complaining and pushing of boundaries.

Setting up a bed time routine?

Here are some tips for establishing a bed time routine that works for your family.

• Look at what you would include in a bedtime routine and make sure you are getting started early enough. Bedtime needs to be calm and not rushed.
• Ask yourself: What time does your child actually fall asleep? How long does it take them to get to sleep after they go to bed? The answer to these questions will help you to decide roughly what time you need to get started. For example the routine for a 4 year old child that takes 15-20 minutes to fall asleep around 7.30 pm could look like this:
  
  

  5.30 pm Dinner 
  6.00 pm  Bath/pajamas 
  6.30 pm  Stories/toilet/brush teeth 
  7.00 pm  Bed and songs or prayer 
  7.10 pm   Kiss and goodnight
  7.30 pm   Hopefully asleep

• Take a few minutes to write down what a bed time routine might look like for your family. All families are different. It may take a bit of experimenting to find the routine that best suits your situation
• If your child is old enough you could make a chart of what will happen
• Use a night light or lamp if your child is frightened of being in the dark
• Try to avoid exciting games before bedtime

If your child keeps calling you back because they are hungry/thirsty/itchy/lonely etc let them know you love them, but that this is the last time you will come to the room, say goodnight, and then leave. Remember, you are the boss. If you want to establish a routine then you need to stick to it. Especially in the first few weeks. Children and even babies are very good at sensing if you are serious about bedtime or if a bit of nagging or whining will bend the rules. Here are some examples of routines that have worked for the families below:

Parent Tips

Helena & Joe: parents of Jasmine aged 6
We have a basic routine we started when Alice was a baby and we try to stick to it, although now she is six she seems to be able to handle a few changes now and then. After dinner she has a bath and puts on pajamas, her father or I read two chapters of a book usually on the sofa (this is the hardest bit to stick to as she always wants us to read more!) –then it is teeth, toilet and bed. When she is in bed we put the night light on and sing a couple of songs then kiss her goodnight. We have a little thing we say each night as we close the door “Goodnight, I love you… see you in the morning”.

Jane and Mikel: parents of 4 children aged six, four, two and 10 months
As we now have four little ones and I have mostly been locked away feeding the baby at sleep time, we have set up a roster of activities for each night of the week so that it is easier for us to put the three other children to bed in a calm manner. For example, Wednesday night we draw and the children all have a drawing activity which they do with one parent.  While they are happily involved we take the youngest to bed with a story, then a little while later the next oldest, and then our eldest last.  As we put them into bed,  if they are under four, we sing them a special song, and then when they reach four they get a special verse and then when they reach six they get an additional verse.  They have to wait for these age landmarks and they know that it is a very special time when their turn comes. If they are extra fussy or boisterous, then we light a special angel candle which they take to bed as we sing.

Jen and Rich - parents of 2 girls aged 7 and 5
We have been working on the bed time routine deal for.. oh... about 7.75 years.  Every time we think we've got it all worked out, our daughter enters the next stage without telling us and we are left holding the pieces trying to figure out what is happening.  When our daughter(s) was younger, we would play the same CD every single night at bedtime to help queue up the idea that its time for peace and quiet now.  That wonderful CD is called "On a Starry Night" and I still play it for my girls sometimes for old time's sake!

These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.

Finding creative ways to encourage fruits and vegetables in your child’s diet can be fun for the entire family.

10 Ways to get children to eat more fruit and veggies

1. Keep a bowl of fresh fruits on the counter. Refrigerate cut up fruits and vegetables in small bags for easy snacks on the run.
2. Serve fruits and vegetables at every meal. Add grated or cut vegetables into entrees, side dishes, and soups. Top off cereal with fruits or add frozen fruits to smoothies.
3. Set a good example. Snack on fruit and order low-sodium, low-fat salads, soups, or vegetable sides when at restaurants.
4. Pack the refrigerator, freezer and cupboard with pre-cut, frozen and canned vegetables so that it is easier for you to prepare meals and snacks that include vegetables.
5. Challenge family members to reach their daily fruits and vegetable goal. Reward the winner with a prize of his or her choice.
6. Ask that fruits and vegetables be offered at school functions, after school programs, and in vending machines.
7. Let children choose which fruits and vegetables to serve and how to incorporate them into their favorite meals.
8. Make fruits and vegetables fun. Try dressing up sandwiches with faces and smiles made from fruits and vegetables.
9. Keep trying. For some foods, it may take multiple times before a child acquires a taste for it.
10. Encourage friends or relatives to offer vegetables and fruits to your children.

Other things to try

Kids are turned off to trying new foods if the smell, flavor, or color is not appealing to them. It may be more appealing to a child if the fruits or vegetables are served raw.

Try feeding different textures of fruits and vegetables to your child. Some children prefer smooth food, where as others like lumpy, and some children like crisp foods, but others like soft.

Offer new fruits and vegetables in combination with old favorites to show your child a variety of smells, textures, and colors. Various vegetables can be added to any whole grain pasta dish or pizza, and fruit is a great topping for low-fat or fat free yogurt.

Food safety

Keep an eye on small children when they are eating. Small children may eat in a hurry, stuff too much food in their mouths, or chew their food inadequately which may cause a child to choke.

Prevent injuries by prohibiting children from running or playing while chewing food. Feed small children only when they are sitting down and are in a relaxed atmosphere. Train toddlers to chew their food thoroughly before swallowing.

For some great fruit and veggie recipes your children will love - www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov

These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.

Family identity refers to the attitudes and behaviors that are routine in a family.

Your children need to know what it means to be a “Jones” or “Larios” or “Patel.”  Family values create the structure needed for healthy growth, like a garden trellis.   

You and your spouse come from different family identities and need to think about what your shared family identity will consist of.  Now is a good time to reflect and intentionally define some of your own family traits.  

Here are a few thoughts on fostering a strong, clear family identity:

• Maintain a relaxed schedule.  The un-programmed times of the week provide the greatest opportunity to form and share family identity.  A hurried pace robs you of the opportunities to have a long bedtime routine, take walks, and cook together; yet the conversations that take place during these routines allow for the teachable moments about what it means to be a member of your family.
• Read books aloud. A good book has a purpose, like a strong family.  Your family can gain a common language and set of experiences from sharing good books.  As you read more complex stories, you can point out what you like about a character.  You might say, “Little Bear is very helpful.  That’s something a Rollins would do.”  Or, after reading a Curious George book, you might say, “An Oxenreider is always curious too, but we’d never climb in a dump truck.”
• Make some values overt.  Many aspects of a family identity are assumed.  However, you should decide on some of the big things that define your family and clearly communicate them from early on.  For us, we decided that talking about our problems together was a non-negotiable part of being in our family.  When something comes up, we say, “Because Oxenreiders talk about their problems, I need to tell you that….”  Now when we are talking about a conflict, our pre-teen daughter will often say, “Do we have to talk about this?” One of us inevitably reminds her, “Yes, we do. Because Oxenreiders always talk about their problems.”  You may want to write your top priorities down and post them somewhere, but it is not necessary.
• Share stories.  Talk about your own childhood, your college days, or even what you did that day.  Retelling your own experiences provides your child with examples of what was and is important to you.  Did you swim everyday of the summer?  Did you have a soda can collection?  Did your mom make your Halloween costume?  Your child will come to love these stories and gain a sense of her family history—an important part to a sense of belonging and being loved.  Sharing stories also provides a chance to increase your child’s emotional intelligence.  When your child has a nightmare, calm him down and tell him about one of your (appropriate) scary dreams.  Your child will hear how normal his fear is and identify with you—sending the message that he is a part of a family that has scary dreams and turns out just fine.
• Do family projects. If you want part of your family identity to include caring for others, plan an occasional family project.  Don’t make it too complicated.  Rake an elderly neighbor’s leaves.  Pass out Valentines at a nursing home.  Deliver a meal to a sick friend or someone returning home from a long trip.  These short projects just may become some of your favorite identity-shaping moments.

These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.

Preschoolers generally pretty content to go on adventures in the car.

The nice thing about traveling in the car with a preschooler, is that there are quite a lot of fun activities to do with them. Drawing is fun, and so are simple toys such as an etch -a -sketch. My children love to listen to books on CD as they travel in the car. Find out what your child enjoys and stock up so that your next car trip is a pleasant one. Here are some tips to follow to make sure that your preschooler is safe during car trips. A preschooler can travel in a:

Combination forward facing/booster seat

• The combination forward-facing/booster seats offer several options. Firstly, the forward-facing option is for children who weigh 40 -65 pounds (some models can differ) and it is to be used with a harness. Secondly, it can be used as a booster seat without the harness for children who weigh up to 80 pounds or more (some models can differ).
• If using the booster seat for your child, make sure the lap belt is across your child's thighs in a low position and that the shoulder belt is across the center of your child's shoulder and chest. (remember the booster is designed for older children so make sure you are using to the correct height and weight requirements)

Convertible seat

• The Convertible design simply means it can be changed from rear-facing to the forward- facing position. When doing this always follow the manual so that the harness is correctly in place and the seat is securely in place.
• Choose one with a five-point harness system. This system has straps for the thighs, two over the shoulder straps, and a crotch strap.

Forward-facing seat

• The forward-facing model is designed for children who weigh between 40 to 80 pounds. Always check your manual as some models can differ.
• Children around this age need to remain in the forward-facing seat whilst still using the harness until they no longer fit it. This is usually around the age of 4 and when they ALSO weigh 40 pounds.
• If you allow your preschooler to buckle themselves in, you need to check and make sure that they are properly strapped in at all times before the car is moving.
• All children 13 years and younger need to be in the back seat of a car.

Hints for a successful installation

• Always read the owners manual and the accompanying instructions BEFORE installing. Make sure you follow all the steps.
• Allow at least 30 minutes to correctly install a car seat. Grab a friend to help out!
• After installing the car seat check that it's securely in place by pushing it hard. It shouldn't move more than 1 inch in any direction. If it does you'll need to re-adjust and check it again.
• It's a good idea to check the seat whenever your child is using it. It only takes a few seconds and considering it's your child's safety at risk, it's time well spent.

 

These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.

A child can learn and benefit greatly from being read to right from the day they are born.

Big ones, little ones, soft ones, plastic ones and musical ones. Children's books come in all sorts of fascinating shapes and sizes. Grab a book and snuggle up on the sofa with your child and share the joy of story telling with them. The benefits of reading out loud to your baby or young child are simply endless!

Benefits

• It encourages children to make connections between the "heard" word and the meaning "behind" the word.
• It gives them a positive foundation to pre-reading skills that aids the process of becoming independent readers in the future.
• One of the most important skills a parent can teach children is how to communicate: how to speak, listen, and to read. By reading aloud to your children, you are teaching them all of these skills.
• Reading to young children also expands their vocabulary, improves memory, and allows them to practice listening skills.
• Read to your child from a variety of sources. Such as books, cereal boxes, magazines, road signs, and greeting cards. By reading from a variety of sources, you are teaching the importance of the written word.
• Try making books from cardboard and pasting pictures from magazines - kids love these.
• As your child becomes older, he will want books that actually tell a story and have an ending that makes sense to him. Books help to develop the preschooler's attention span. They contribute to children forming a rich vocabulary and verbal skills.
• Books also help to develop thinking and the imagination.
• They also contribute to the development of  basic reading concepts such as following the words from the left to right side of a page. Place books within easy reach of your child, so they can enjoy looking at them on their own.

So go and grab some books from your local book shop. Or get into the habit of taking your young child to the library to choose his own. This can go a long way to helping your child become a proficient and confident reader later on in life.

These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.

Are meal times turning into a battle? These tips will help you understand and encourage your picky eater.

The eating habits of preschool children are often frustrating and mysterious. At times they seem to survive on less food than a bird requires, and at others they appear to be an eating machine, consuming everything in sight. They claim something is wrong with the food, such as one thing on their plate is touching another! Young children often resist new foods, not because they are being difficult but because of their sensitivity to textures, smells and tastes.

Here are some tips to help you help your picky eater

• Many young children appear to live off air. If you actually watch what your child eats throughout an entire day you might be surprised. Often young children are “grazers”. They eat little bits of this and that throughout the day.  As they are SO active, it’s probably a good way for them to eat at this age. If they graze throughout the day they are constantly re-fuelling their active bodies.
• Keep a written or mental journal of what your child is eating during the day. Now you’ll really be able to get an idea of how much food is eaten and when the eating is happening.
• The trick with children who graze is to make sure you have plenty of healthy grazing food available. A friend of mine keeps a vegetable and fruit plate sitting out for most of the day for her children. They take what they want, when they feel they need it.
• Avoid giving your young child lots of processed snacks. They’ll just fill up on empty calories and will have trouble getting all the nutritional needs met during the day.
• Serve lunch and dinner on a plate that has a nice variety of food on it. The main meal can be incorporated as well but just pop on a few raw chopped vegetables with a yummy healthy dip. Have your child mix the dip with you and place the veggies on the plate in a fun pattern or make a funny face out of them. The point is to make the healthy food fun!
• Some children do not like the taste of cooked vegetables. Serve a variety of  raw vegetables and see which ones your child likes. If all else fails you can try to puree some vegetables and include them in spaghetti sauces and casseroles. You can make muffins with vegetables in them. My children adore the apple and carrot muffins I make.
• Try growing a few vegetables in your own garden. I have seen many “non-vegetable eaters” consume loads of the “dreaded green stuff” when they have grown and picked it themselves.
• Don’t draw meal times out and make it a struggle. You want your child to feel positive about healthy foods.
•  A child needs to be exposed to a food at least ten times before they become used to taste and texture of it. So be patient and keep offering small servings of new foods in as many ways as you can.
• Try to respect your child’s food dislikes and don’t insist that they be a member of “the clean plate club!”
• Serving small portions will help. Since children burn up a lot of calories quickly and they have smaller stomachs.
• And remember, children can be very demanding about wanting certain foods, especially sweets. Reserve these for treat time only and don’t become a hostage to food demands. For a “sweet treat” give fruits (peaches, strawberries, apples, grapes etc.) and non-fat dairy products like yogurt. These are nutritious complements to a healthy diet and often turn “picky eaters” into real gourmets!

These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.

As a parent, it is so frustrating to hear your own child back chatting, name calling or using bad language.

Luckily, with a little understanding and self-restraint, parents can put a lid on talking back. Firstly, try to find out WHY the child is behaving in this way. The child could be hungry, tired, frustrated, a victim of bullying or copying older siblings. Keep in mind that when kids talk back, something else is going on underneath. The goal is to help them express it constructively. Below are some strategies that could help to clean up your preschooler’s act!

Avoid yelling, talking back or getting angry yourself

If you do this then you are reinforcing the behavior. Your child is angry, frustrated, or upset about something. Try to find out what is the root cause of the problem. Do not make it a bigger problem.

Communicate with them

When your preschooler backchats you, let them know that you care about their feelings, even if you do not approve of the way they are expressing them. Acknowledging your child’s emotions can often diffuse the situation and stop it from becoming a big scene. If you can get past the attitude, you may be able to sort out what is going on and come up with some solutions.

Let them know how it makes you feel

When your child has calmed down, let them know how their behavior makes you feel. For example, if your child shouts - “I hate you”, you could explain that you love them very much and hearing those words hurt your feelings. You do not need to make a big deal out of it but it is important to let children know their words and behavior can affect others.

Share the problem-solving process

Ensure your child understands that there are choices they can make about their behavior. If they are unable to listen because they are so angry or upset or defiant, then try talking about it later as a family. Role-play some scenarios. As a family talk about what could happen next

Children learn bad words before they learn the meaning of them

As hard as it is, try not to react to your young child swearing. Some children may delight in saying the word just to get a reaction out of adult Preschoolers may innocently repeat something they have heard or be unsure of it’s meaning. If it is a one off incident, it is probably best to ignore it. Your child does not know what they are saying and chances are will not repeat it again. If it becomes an ongoing problem - ask them what the word means then briefly explain why it is not acceptable.

Tell your child firmly that you do not accept bad language

Be careful of not using bad language yourself. If used to express frustration, give them an alternative word. Have fun choosing descriptive words to use e.g. rats, jeepers, pumpkin, chocolate bananas….

Apologize when you overreact

Model what they can do when they overreact or say things they do not mean. If you make a mistake, make it better - “I am sorry that I shouted and called you a bad boy. I was frustrated that you would not pick up the toys, but that is not excuse for calling you names”.

With preschoolers, often ‘NO’ is a common backchat

If you are constantly hearing “NO” then think about how you are phrasing the instruction – For example -“Are you ready to go home now?” (When leaving a friends house), is almost asking for a “NO”. Try instead “We are leaving in 5 minutes”, followed by “We are leaving now”.

You simply cannot avoid disagreements with your children

However, you can have RULES for disagreements

• Don't attack
• Don't belittle
• Don't condemn
• Define what the problem is
• Define how to rectify it Figure out what can be done to prevent it in the future
• Make up your own family rules

Broken-record approach

Be consistent and fair with what you will and will not tolerate. Repeat why you find their behavior unacceptable. Try to remain calm and repeat it numerous times if necessary. They will get the message eventually!

Reward good behavior

Ensure your child is rewarded and congratulated when they are having a good day (or hour…..). Congratulate good behavior; let them know you are noticing when they choose not to ask "WHY" or say "NO".

Be firm, consistent, calm, and loving in dealing with your child’s misbehavior. Reassure the child that it is the behavior that is unacceptable, not him or her. In the end, always give a hug and tell him or her how much you love him

Nelly (mother of two sons aged 3 and 4) says ‘Both my boys are very defiant and like to question EVERYTHING I ask them to do. Star charts worked well. As a family, we try to focus on the positive behavior and not the negative. I attended an anger management course for parents recently and that helped a lot. It gave me a few strategies to deal with my emotions. My boys push me to my limits on a daily basis!’

These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.

How do you know if your child has healthy self-esteem or not?

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the confidence and satisfaction a child has in them-self. In psychology, self-esteem reflects a person's overall self worth. Therefore, the development of a positive self-concept or healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the overall well-being of a child. As parents we are instrumental in building self esteem in our children. 

Observing self-esteem

It is possible to judge self-esteem in children’s behavior. Spend some time watching your child to find out if they have good self-esteem. It is important to remember that all children will have off days and there isn’t a simple test with a pass/fail mark for self esteem. You know your own child better than anyone and should be able to pick up the signs - through behavior and words, if your child has a low self-esteem. Sometimes, however, you might find this difficult as you’re too close, or you might have difficulty seeing the world through their eyes. In cases like this, perhaps relatives, friends and teachers might be able to help assist you. Most of the research available tells us that children with healthy self-esteem do the following:

• Able to take reasonable risks
• Feel worthwhile (and lovable)
• Extend themselves as learners
• Make friends easily
• Display positive attitudes to others most of the time
• Generally behave well and are able to control their behavior
• Can accept they are going to make mistakes and experience failure
• Like to be creative and have their own ideas
• Can be cooperative and follow age-appropriate rules
• Are generally willing to try new things and can show initiative as opposed to  children with low self-esteem who give up easily or show little confidence in areas that are new
• Can acknowledge their own contributions to success
• Are generally optimistic and use positive language
• Believe that personal limitations can be worked on
• Show enthusiasm for new activities

Self-esteem as a family

It’s important to think about your home and the environment your child is growing up in, as your child's self-esteem initially develops within the family and is therefore influenced by the feelings and perceptions that your family unit has of itself. Family pride is essential to self-esteem and can be fostered in many ways like involvement in community activities, tracing your family tree, or caring for extended family members. Families work best when individual members focus on each other's strengths, avoid excessive criticism and stick up for one another outside the family setting. Family members believe in and trust each other, respect their individual differences and show their affection for each other. Holidays, outings, planned (and unplanned) activities are all great ‘team-building’ experiences.

These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.

Some young children develop a fear of the bath. Try to work out what is causing the problem. Is it the sound of the water going down the drain? Is it the depth of the water? Have they had a fall in the bath?

• To encourage kids to get a good scrub in the tub let them have special toys that are only for bath time. They can be as simple as measuring cups, funnels and spoons or one of the many bath toys available in stores. Put in only a few toys at a time and rotate regularly.
• Think about the toys your child already has that may be good for bath play. For example, when my daughter was three (and hated washing her hair) she had so many little ponies that we kept a couple for bath time – the thought of washing their manes and tail would entice her into the bath for a hair wash.
• Get in with your child - they are less likely to resist if you are in the bath too!
• If your child is not too dirty - skip bath time for a night and just wipe face and hands.
• Experiment with water levels. Some children are more comfortable with only a little water in the bath (remember to only fill the bath up to the waist of your smallest child).
• Try different times of the day - if your is child tired at the end of the day and you think this is contributing to the bath refusal, change bath time to another time in the day eg before or after nap time.
• Change the scenery - when my daughter went through a stage of hating bath time we tried washing her in the laundry sink and she loved it.
• Take your child out of the bath before you empty it if you feel the sound of the water going down the plug is part of the problem.
• A few drops of food coloring used occasionally works wonders for getting a reluctant child into the bath.
• Remember that while children are playing in the bath they are learning. Wonderful math and science concepts can be explored such as measuring, estimating, sinking and floating.
• Allow plenty time for playing and if they don’t want to linger get them out after a quick wash.
• Incorporate bath time into the bed time routine - children thrive on routines and like to know when things are going to happen. For example if bath time always comes after dinner and is followed by stories children will learn what happens next and will be less likely to resist.
• Another idea is to play music, sing songs or tell stories while they’re in the tub. This is an added incentive that encourages many children to enjoy this time of day.
• And lastly, if you are the parent that works during the day – this is a wonderful opportunity to interact with your child. Play, have fun and don’t forget they are only little for a little time.

Always make sure you supervise your children while they are in the bath.

These great tips and more are from the highly acclaimed book The Triumphant Child - A practical guide to raising 2, 3 and year olds.